Went to buy clothes in H&M today (still haven't found any better options for buying clothes in Geneva. God I miss Stockholm!) which is usually a very soothing and enjoyable activity until the part where the clothes actually have to go on the body to see if they fit. This is generally the part where the meditative mood that clothes shopping can set you in ends and the "oh my god I'm so fat"-ness begins. This is usually true in all shops apart from in my favourite Stockholm clothes supplier Beyond retro, where they appear to have magical mirrors where everything you try on looks great on you, and even if the item you're trying on is too tight, it still somehow doesn't make you look fat!
Well, it's become even less fun since they decided to make all the clothes sizes one size smaller. This seems to have happened since I moved to Switzerland, which is 9 months ago now. Coincidentally, all the clothes in my wardrobe have shrunk as well! What are the odds of that?! Perhaps it's the hot and humid air down here that's made it. I'm sure there's a logical explanation to this that doesn't involve cheese, wine or chocolate.
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It's because Europe is becoming infected with the over-zealous thoughts of fashionistas from across the world - that girls/women/the female species in general needs to be very thin. This is, of course, total bullshit, because skinny girls are crap. But that doesn't stop the clothes companies from trying to make all females skinny, a la, dropping all the clothes sizes down a couple. It's a global conspiracy, y'know.
Feel free to come back to Stockholm! You can take me shopping. Maybe Beyond Retro sells stuff that magically fits skinny boys?
Also, you're not fat. I don't think that you think that you are, cos you're way smarter than that, but I'm just sayin' you totally are not fat. Not at fucking all.
Hi there'Anonymous', sure I'll take you to Beyond retro when I'm coming to town in November. Haven't you been there yet? It's the best! I'm sure they'll have plenty of skinny boys' clothes there too.
And yes, I know that I'm not really that fat, but the thing is that living in the land of cheese and chocolate does have consequences, like making your clothes tighter... Which is why I took up jogging this summer. Because there's no fucking way I'm giving up my cheese. Or chocolate. Or wine. Or anything else.
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